The inspiration for this week’s feature came from something that happened to me last week: I had an evening to myself and, fresh off the train, I stopped for a very quick dinner in one of Reading’s two branches of Nando’s (don’t judge, I like a Nando’s: it’s a very occasional treat). I went for my standard order there and it was, as chains always are, a known quantity and perfectly okay: not amazing, very far from terrible and precisely as it is every time I eat in the Nando’s on Friar Street.

As I was eating I found myself thinking about how chains, like everybody else, have hiked their prices over the last few years. My food cost fifteen pounds – hardly a fortune in today’s money, but I kept coming back to the fact that there were better ways to eat similar food, but higher quality, for less money at one of Reading’s great independent restaurants.

I went home, I posted about that on the ER Facebook page and mused that maybe there was a feature in this, running through the most prominent of the town’s many big chains and pointing people in the direction of equivalents, most of them independent, offering better food and better value. I wasn’t sure whether the idea had legs, but quite a few people told me to write it. So it’s mostly my fault, but you can blame them too.

The reason I initially thought there might be no point to a feature like this was good old-fashioned confirmation bias: I assume that if you read this blog you might already know all this stuff. I do review the occasional chain, if it’s new, small or unusual, but I’ve never made any secret of the fact that the focus of this blog is more on the stuff that gives Reading character and makes it different, and in the most part that means independent businesses.

But quite a few people said that, all the same, they thought it would be useful to have all these suggestions in one place. Besides, I’ve become increasingly aware this year of more newcomers happening upon the blog. Some of that might be the demise of Berkshire Live creating a gap in the market, and some of it seems to be the peculiarities of Facebook’s algorithm, but either way it means this may be useful to some of you.

If it helps a single person have a more interesting lunch or dinner it will have done its job. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve ambled through Christchurch Meadows on my way to Geo Café of a Sunday only to pass more than one person gripping a Costa cup. The popularity of Caversham’s Costa is for me, like the electoral success of Tony Page or the survival of Wild Lime, one of Reading’s great unsolved mysteries.

Sitting comfortably? Right, here we go – ten well-known chains and their excellent alternatives.

THE CHAIN: Nando’s
GO HERE INSTEAD: Bakery House

I don’t mind Nando’s, and it definitely has its place. But wading through my butterflied chicken breast, rice and rainbow slaw my mind kept drifting to Bakery House’s boneless baby chicken. They don’t make you choose between breast, thighs or half a chicken, they just give you the whole lot, marinated, skin scorched, bones removed, fighting for space on a plate with a big pile of vegetable rice and a well-dressed salad. And they give you all that for fourteen pounds, which remains one of Reading’s ridiculous food bargains.

Recent tweaks to the chilli sauce have made it a little punchier, while the garlic sauce is toned down to the extent that you won’t repel people at work; I miss the old one, but I understand why they did it. I know that Bakery House isn’t Portuguese (nor, for that matter, is Nando’s) so it isn’t a like for like comparison, but I still think Bakery House’s chargrilled chicken is miles better than the stuff from Nando’s. And if you want some of the other things Nando’s can offer – halloumi, houmous and pita or even a sandwich made with chicken livers – well, Bakery House does those far better too.

Bakery House
82 London Street, RG1 4SJ
https://bakery-house.co.uk

THE CHAIN: Wendy’s or Five Guys
GO HERE INSTEAD: Monkey Lounge

People complain all the time about Reading having too many burger joints, but actually there are fewer than you might think – since 7Bone left the town centre to cook out of Phantom (and, as a result, give greater priority to Deliveroo) there has been little to challenge the primacy of the big chains – except Honest, which is itself a small chain. Couple that with the closure of Smash N’ Grab earlier in the year and there are probably fewer spots to get a good burger than there have been for a long time. As if to compound that, The Lyndhurst itself does an excellent burger but closes in a couple of weeks’ time.

So my recommendation is the proudly independent Monkey Lounge, a little way out of the town centre on Erleigh Road. Their burger is miles better than it needs to be, given their captive audience of local students drinking the house lager and watching sport on the big screens. Nonetheless it’s a delight and one of the most pleasant surprises I can remember after doing this reviewing lark for a very long time – a very well executed coarse patty, a timeless sesame seed bun rather than modish brioche, bacon and cheese as standard. Even the chips, which are bought in, are thoroughly decent.

Monkey Lounge
30 Erleigh Road, RG1 5NA
https://monkeylounge.uk

THE CHAIN: Pizza Express
GO HERE INSTEAD: Sarv’s Slice at the Biscuit Factory

Again I don’t actually mind Pizza Express at all, although I miss the one on St Mary’s Butts where I had lots of happy occasions: the more soulless one on Oracle Riverside has never done it for me. For that matter, I also have fond memories of many a boozy evening eating Pizza Express’ wares takeaway in the Allied beer garden with a pint of Stowford Press on the go. And again, pizza traders in Reading are fewer than they used to be with the closure of a Pizza Express, Franco Manca and of course Pizza Hut, which had traded in the Oracle since the day it opened. Buon Appetito closing last year reduced the options still further.

It’s too early to judge newcomer Zia Lucia, although it comes highly recommended by hereditary columnist Giles Coren among others. And outside the town centre there are still options, with Papa Gee and the Last Crumb flying the flag north of the river and Vesuvio doing a tidy job out west. But for my money the finest pizza in Reading right now is by Sarv’s Slice at the Biscuit Factory – both the traditional Neapolitan pizza and the comparately recent addition of deep, airy Detroit pizza with its distinctive frico, the crown of cheese that makes it unlike anything else in town.

They also do regular specials, traditional ones like the classic anchovies and capers along with others that push the envelope: I still fondly remember their carbonara pizza, and a never to be repeated Iberian effort with chorizo, confit garlic fried potatoes and smoked paprika aioli which might be the best thing they’ve done. Day to day though, I find it hard to look beyond the diavola with salami and ‘nduja, perfected with a sticky drizzle of hot honey.

Sarv’s Slice
Biscuit Factory, 1 Queens Walk, RG1 7QE
https://www.sarvsslice.com

THE CHAIN: Zizzi, Prezzo or Bella Italia
GO HERE INSTEAD: Mama’s Way

I find Reading’s chain Italian restaurants somewhat interchangeable, a perception which probably isn’t helped by the fact that I haven’t eaten in any of them for the best part of fifteen years: I fondly remember one of the very first Prezzos in Richmond, before private equity bloated and ruined the place. But actually, even with the closure of Coco Di Mama, the chains have won the battle for spend when it comes to Italian restaurants – only Pepe Sale, really, keeps going as a full-on Italian restaurant within the IDR.

That said, my recommendation is to try Mama’s Way in what someone recently described to me as Very Little Italy, that stretch of Duke Street that encompasses Mama’s Way and near neighbours Madoo. It is a tiny place, little more than a hole in the wall with just the three or four seats inside and three stools out on the street. But if you grab one of them you feel like you’ve really hit the jackpot. The Aperol spritz is exemplary, there’s a great selection of wines by the glass and I’ve heard they do a barrel aged negroni too, although I’ve not yet tried it.

There is a small selection of pasta dishes – and pinsa too, if you want something almost as carby. But they also have an incredible array of cheeses and cured meats and will do you a veritable smorgasbord of either or both. With some of these places, like Veeno, I always think it’s a shame to have such a great space but to buy in relatively uninspiring produce. Mama’s Way absolutely gets that when you have the good stuff you just need to serve it up and bask in the reflected glory of your excellent taste and buying power. They do that superbly, and their menu is an excellent shop window for their produce – a shop window which, if you play your cards right, you can eat in, making passers-by jealous.

Mama’s Way
10-14 Duke Street, RG1 4RU
https://mamasway.co.uk

THE CHAIN: Pho
GO HERE INSTEAD: The Moderation

I know this might seem harsh, as Pho is one of the chains many Reading folk like, with good reason. But my standard order there is their fried rice with chicken and dried shrimp, and I was very aware on my visit to the Moderation a couple of weeks back that the Mod’s nasi goreng is far better than Pho’s dish. You get a lot of it, packed with chicken and enormous prawns, with prawn crackers, pickled veg, a fried egg and a chicken satay skewer. If the two dishes were Top Trumps, the Mod’s wins on every category.

Not only that, but for me the pan-Asian menu at the Moderation gives you alternatives to most of Pho’s great dishes and more besides. The rendang is better than Pho’s curry, there are rice and noodle dishes in abundance and there’s even a ramen, if you want an alternative to Pho’s eponymous dish. I would say that I haven’t tried the Moderation’s spring rolls, and it’s hard to imagine that they’re better than either of Pho’s terrific spring rolls, especially the ones crammed with crab, prawns and pork. But given how good the rest of the Moderation’s food is, you might not bet against it.

The Moderation
213 Caversham Road, RG1 8BB
https://www.themodreading.com

OR TRY: Bánh Mì QB

If you think the Moderation isn’t quite a like for like comparison, how about Bánh Mì QB? You have to hand it to this restaurant for having the balls to open a Vietnamese restaurant a couple of doors down from what was previously Reading’s only Vietnamese restaurant. But to me they pull it off and have created an excellent independent alternative. It might not have the polish of Pho, but their spring rolls are also excellent, their crispy roast pork is an utter joy and, unlike their rival, they actually serve bánh mì, one of the great Vietnamese dishes and a genuine lunchtime treat.

Bánh Mì QB
Unit 8, 19-23 King Street, RG1 2HG
https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100083120421618

THE CHAIN: Taco Bell
GO HERE INSTEAD: Mission Burrito

Most weeks on a Wednesday or Friday, and most weekends, you can probably go to either Blue Collar’s weekly market or its permanent site on Hosier Street and find someone doing tacos better than Taco Bell’s. Or you could just buy the distinctive yellow packets from Old El Paso, go home and knock something shoddy up in a frying pan: it would still be better, provided everything you used was still in date.

But for a permanent option, I still think Mission Burrito is the right choice. One of the only even vaguely independent restaurants in the Oracle (technically a chain, but there are only four of them), it’s been resolutely doing its thing for many, many years. And it’s still very good and an extremely consistent choice if you want a light meal slap bang in the town centre. I used to love their tacos, but my tastes have graduated to a carnitas burrito with smoky black beans, cheese and chipotle salsa. They’re a handful, and almost impossible to eat tidily but they hit the spot.

I think Mission is always a little forgotten about when people talk about town centre options but even if it’s unshowy it’s very good indeed. It’s seen off many of the restaurants on that bank of the Riverside – Wok To Walk, Franco Manca, The Real Greek – and you wouldn’t rule out it outlasting most of its other neighbours. Except perhaps McDonalds: I suspect that McDonalds, like cockroaches, would even survive a nuclear holocaust. Mission Burrito gets bonus points from me for stocking A&W root beer, possibly my favourite soft drink in the whole wide world.

Mission Burrito
The Oracle Riverside, RG1 2AG
https://www.missionburrito.co.uk

THE CHAIN: Wetherspoons
GO HERE INSTEAD: Oakford Social Club

Have you noticed how Wetherspoons fanboys (they’re always men) are so often awful people? They invariably crop up on social media, the eternal sealions, to defend the pubs, or the way they “rescue” heritage buildings, or stick up for their spiritual king Tim Martin (or “Timbo” as they like to call him). Come off it: Wetherspoons is just Brewdog for penny-pinchers. Personally, I aim never to set foot in one again.

And I know I’m on shaky ground here because although the Oakford positions itself as indie and hipster it is in fact a Mitchells & Butlers pub, part of their “Castle” portfolio which also includes the Hope & Bear. And yet here I am saying you should go here instead of Wetherspoons: why is that? Well, first of all, the benchmark to be better and more palatable than Wetherspoons is not the most exacting standard in the world.

But secondly, the Oakford has acquired the status of Reading institution over the course of over fifteen years opposite the train station, to the point where I don’t think anybody cares that it’s an M&B establishment. And its food is surprisingly good, I think, especially their fried chicken and crispy onions, which are a bit like an onion bhaji that’s had the crap beaten out of it. They have a good-looking menu, from ‘nduja and pecorino croquettes to poutine, schnitzel and beef dripping tater tots. Exactly the kind of stuff you want with a beer in a buzzy pub, and unlike Wetherspoons you can have some confidence that a microwave oven didn’t play a starring role.

Oakford Social Club
53 Blagrave Street, RG1 1PZ
https://www.oakfordsocialclub.com/

THE CHAIN: Costa, Caffe Nero or Starbucks
GO HERE INSTEAD: Coffee Under Pressure

I might be on to a loser with this one because I know some people are very wedded to their enormo-cups of coffee from the three big coffee chains that dominate Reading. It’s a sign of how things change – we used to have four Burger Kings, now we only have the two, we may have lost a Starbucks on Queen Victoria Street (and the one on Oracle Riverside closed this week) but Reading Station has two branches alone. I’ve lost track of the Costas in Reading, and we still have three Caffe Neros.

That’s a lot of places to drink middling coffee. And yet in the time they have proliferated we’ve lost Tamp, Anonymous, the Grumpy Goat and now the town centre branch of Workhouse. Next time an independent coffee place opens, I hope we don’t have to endure the cries of “not another one” from dullards, but I expect we will.

This is all the more reason to spend your money at Coffee Under Pressure instead. Their big and busy branch is the one off St Mary’s Butts, and the outside space is a great summer spot to see and be seen. But my favourite is the one on Blagrave Street, and I love sitting up at the window there on those stools, looking out on the handsome Victorian brickwork of the Town Hall. C.U.P.’s mocha is a work of art, as I’ve said many times, but they also do an extremely respectable latte and some great spanakopita.

Coffee Under Pressure
53 St Mary’s Butts, RG1 2LG and 7 Blagrave St, RG1 1PJ
https://www.coffeeunderpressure.co.uk

OR TRY: Compound Coffee

Almost as good, and definitely among the best coffee in Reading these days, Compound Coffee does a fantastic job operating out of the ground floor of the Biscuit Factory. You have to hand it to the Biscuit Factory – you can have great coffee in the morning, unbeatable pizza for lunch or dinner and then avail yourself of their admirable selection of local beers. I’ve been there loads of times, and I’ve not even seen a film there yet. That might make me a philistine – but at least I’m a well-fed, well-caffeinated philistine.

Compound Coffee
Biscuit Factory, 1 Queens Walk, RG1 7QE
https://www.instagram.com/compoundcoffeeuk/

THE CHAIN: Pret or Gail’s
GO HERE INSTEAD: Shed

I’m treating Gail’s and Pret interchangeably here, even though everyone knows that Gail’s is to Pret what Pret is to Greggs. But for these purposes I’m lumping them into the single category of lunch places with ideas above their station which are remarkably expensive. Gail’s, to be fair, isn’t terrible, although its chairman Luke Johnson is. I have a harder time liking Pret, whose prices have gone up and up and whose sandwiches are claggy, costly and usually sodden with mayonnaise: their coffee has hit the skids too, since they introduced a subscription scheme.

Anyway, I think Shed wipes the floor with both of them. A recent refurb has made their upstairs dining room an even nicer place to while away time, but in nearly twelve years Shed has turned feeding Reading’s discerning lunchgoers into a fine art. The Top Toastie, a magical combination of chorizo, chicken, jalapeños and cheese, is rightly fêted, as is its sibling the Tuna Turner. But Shed doesn’t rest on its laurels and a more recent addition – the Chaat, with samosa, mango chutney, sev and mint yoghurt – is an absolute riot on a plate.

Shed
8 Merchants Place, RG1 1DT
https://theshedcafe.co.uk

OR TRY: Picnic

The other veteran of Reading’s lunch scene, Picnic, is another venue far more deserving of your money than the chain neighbours on what used to be called Coffee Corner. It’s nearly seventeen years old, and on my recent visits it’s been better than I ever remember. They went through a phase where I didn’t much like the seating arrangements but they’ve clearly given that more thought and make much better use of the room now.

Better still, they’ve restored the stools up at the window which gives you one of Reading’s best people watching opportunities. It’s mad to think that I’ve been doing that for the best part of seventeen years, on and off. The coffee is as good as it’s ever been, too, and credit to Picnic for using heavenly milk from Lacey’s, the only place in Reading to do so.

Their food is going through a purple patch as well. The toasted sandwiches are terrific, especially if they have their coppa, burrata and grilled peppers on offer, but the real draw here is the salads which gradually get better and more imaginative. There are always two salad boxes, one of which is vegetarian, but I have an enormous soft spot for their chicken shawarma salad and find it hard not to order it.

I don’t know if there’s a Couscous Marketing Board but if there is, they really ought to put a plaque up outside acknowledging Picnic’s sterling commitment to shifting bucketloads of the stuff over the years. Oh, and the cakes are also great (although the one Pret product I will defend to the death, come to think of it, is their brownie).

Picnic
5 Butter Market, RG1 2DP
https://www.picnicfoods.co.uk

THE CHAIN: TGI Friday
GO HERE INSTEAD: Literally anywhere else in Reading

No, seriously. Don’t act surprised – you do read this blog, don’t you? TGI Fridays was comfortably one of the very worst places I’ve reviewed in 10 years, with dirty glassware, Legendary Glaze that could strip tooth enamel, staff leaving me a voicemail halfway through my meal asking why I hadn’t turned up and sizzling platters that didn’t. Worst of all, the really mediocre food was at elevated prices. I thought it was very expensive for what it was when I went there five years ago so I dread to think what it’s like now, but even if they’d inflation-proofed their menu and you were still paying 2018 prices it would be shocking value.

I’m not saying I’d rather lick a bin lid, but I find it hard to imagine a restaurant in Reading I wouldn’t pick over TGI Fridays: Cosmo, Taco Bell – which is at least cheap – or anywhere with a hygiene rating of zero from the council. The fact that the Oracle bunged Tampopo, a superb restaurant, over half a million pounds to make way for this dross tells you everything you need to know about how the Oracle, ultimately, is not a force for good in this town. Hopefully this piece, Mission Burrito notably excepted, gives you the inspiration to eat elsewhere.