Tag: Malaysian

Restaurant review: Kopitiam, Oxford

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Here’s a question for you – if you had decided to have lunch at a restaurant, and you knew for a fact that it didn’t take reservations, when would you get there, all things being equal? Would you turn up when it opened, bang on noon, or would you arrive early and be at the front of the queue? Or would you aim for about half one, to capitalise on the end of the lunch rush? Would it bother you, or make you anxious, or would you be blasé about the whole thing? Would you have a backup plan?

This wasn’t a hypothetical situation, because last weekend I was in Oxford with my old friend Dave and his son Leo, and I was set on having lunch at Kopitiam, a Malaysian restaurant in Summertown that received a glowing review from Tom Parker Bowles in the Mail On Sunday last December. But it didn’t take bookings, and Summertown is about a forty minute walk from the centre, so what to do?

This highlighted something of a philosophical schism between Dave and me. He would gladly have been there before the clock struck noon, ready to take the first table in the whole restaurant. “I prepare for things precisely so I don’t get anxious” he explained, although I suspected we both did equal amounts of worrying about stuff, just at different times. For my part, I thought turning up around half twelve would be more than sufficient. I knew it was Saturday lunchtime, but how busy could the place be?

It grieves me to admit that Dave was right and I was wrong: turning up bang on half past, we found every table occupied and the restaurant heaving. There were two tables out front, both with the standard-issue Tolix chairs in place, but it wasn’t quite warm enough for that kind of thing. So we went over the road to the excellent Colombia Coffee Roasters, sipped a latte and I kept a restless eye on the footfall heading to and from Kopitiam.

“It’s okay mate, if it’s still full we can always just go to Pompette a few doors down, or the pizza place on this road” said Dave equably. I didn’t understand what was going on: why was he so chilled about this after he’d been proven right? Why wasn’t he saying I told you so, the way I would have done had our roles been reversed? Honestly, you’re friends with someone for over thirty years but some days it’s like you just don’t know them at all. Leo, just turned 18 and off to Durham at the end of the month to start his history degree, sensibly stayed out of this one, and got to work on his mocha instead.

Anyway, it all worked out in the end. Half an hour later we went back and a number of tables were unoccupied, so we ensconced ourselves. The fact that so many tables had cleared so quickly suggested this was a functional lunch spot, not somewhere to linger, but we were too happy to have found space to be bothered by that.

The room was functional too – but in a way that worked, with plain, standard issue chairs and tables, faux exposed brickwork wallpaper and brightly lit pictures of all the dishes up on the wall. Now normally this would set alarm bells ringing, but somehow Kopitiam pulled it off – the saturated photos had an almost Martin Parr feel to them. And equally importantly, they all looked like food you’d actually want to eat.

Kopitiam’s menu was a tad confusing. Or really I should say menus, because you got two with no real indication of the relationship between them. The smaller one looked more Malaysian, the larger more Chinese, but the titles of the two printed menus didn’t exactly explain why this was. The smaller menu had some pictures of the food, the bigger, more generic menu, did not.

Malaysian Street Food And Cafe said the bigger menu, incongruously above the prices for crispy duck, Thai green papaya salad, sesame prawn toasts and edamame. And the same dishes, appeared on both menus in some cases – but where they did, the pricing was not the same. Anyway, on examination the smaller menu looked to be the lunch menu, the larger one the dinner menu – Kopitiam’s website spelled this out, but at the time it was a head-scratcher.

That’s partly because nothing at Kopitiam was expensive, whichever menu you ordered from and whatever it was calling itself. Few starters cost more than eight pounds, most mains on the lunch menu didn’t get north of twelve. Even on the main menu dishes tended to jostle around the ten pound mark, although rice cost extra. It did prompt a lot of discussions and plea bargaining, though, around how to try the best of the menu and what might or might not be representative. I felt, in the back of my mind, like having the Chinese dishes would be copping out.

“Are we having starters as well?” asked Dave.

“You do remember who you’re having lunch with, don’t you?” I said. Honestly, you’re friends with someone for over thirty years and some days it’s like they don’t know you at all: I don’t think the words if it’s okay with you can we skip starters have ever left my lips in all the time I’ve known Dave. And Leo is an enthusiastic eater himself: I remember going to Dolce Vita with him and his dad, back when he was something like ten years old, and watching him charm the socks off the waiters by ordering the monkfish with squid ink pasta and finishing the lot (“we have many adults who don’t try that dish” said our server, rightly impressed).

Our starters came out as we sipped a fiery and enjoyable ginger beer apiece: Kopitiam has no alcohol licence, which didn’t bother me, but also didn’t have any Sarsi (a Malaysian take on root beer), which bothered me far more. They also do a plethora of other Malaysian drinks – kopi, teh tarik and Ying Yang, a blend of coffee and tea which I was tempted to order out of morbid curiosity alone.

First to arrive were lok bak, minced pork wrapped in bean curd skin and then fried until crispy. These were a tactile delight, little brittle-coated nuggets of joy crying out to be dipped in sweet chilli sauce and scoffed. Perfect for sharing, perfect for social eating, perfectly enjoyable. And if I’d never had anything like this before, as I suspect Dave and Leo hadn’t, I would have been waxing lyrical.

But the best can be the enemy of the good, and I kept casting my mind back to a very similar dish at Lucky Lychee the previous month. There the pork was coarse and crumbly, the sweet chilli sauce was home made rather than out of a bottle and I got more of the spicing: Lucky Lychee boasts a ten spice mix, compared to the five spices deployed by Kopitiam. It showed: the Winchester restaurant’s rendition was easily twice as good.

By far the single best thing we ordered was chosen because we saw it at the next table and had to have a piece of the action. It was impossibly rugged-looking fried chicken, and our neighbours somehow had the superhuman (or inhuman, depending on how you view such things) restraint to leave it there, in full view, for something like five minutes without making inroads into it.

I swear that our portion arrived and was dispatched before they finished theirs, and I wasn’t sure whether to be proud or ashamed of that. But it was so, so good. It was half a dozen wings, in a crunchy, gnarled coating which had just the slightest hint of funk from the shrimp sauce used in the marinade. Now, I’m not the biggest fan of wings, especially when they’re sauced or tossed, because for me the reward to faff ratio is out of kilter. But these were an absolute joy to rend and gnaw, to the extent where I wondered if I was giving wings an unduly hard time.

“I think these are the crispiest wings I’ve ever had” said Dave. “I wish we’d ordered a portion each.”

“There’s nothing to stop us ordering more” I said. “We could have them for dessert. Did you know there’s a fish restaurant in Lisbon where you have a steak roll for dessert?”

Dave gave me an indulgent look that said, ever so nicely, why are you like this? But I knew I’d planted the seed about dessert chicken, so I left it at that.

Last of all, we tried a Malaysian staple, the roti canai. Now, I had high hopes for this after reading Tom Parker Bowles’ review. He said they were charred, chewy and as delicate as silk handkerchiefs. Leaving aside the fact that I’m not sure something can be all three of those things at once, Kopitiam’s roti were delicious but more like rolled-up balls of tissue – sorry for the image – than silk handkerchiefs. I liked them, and they were definitely greaseless, but in little clumps they weren’t the easiest to dip into a little bowl of an admittedly delicious curry sauce, with plenty of brooding depth.

Our mains came out while we were still eating our starters. Now, this has happened to me before in a Malaysian restaurant, one called Wau in Newbury that I visited five years ago. And I complained about it in the review, and a few people told me I was being culturally ignorant and that in Malaysian cuisine everything tends to arrive at once. So I won’t moan about that again, even though it wouldn’t be my preferred way to eat. And I suppose it explains why a restaurant that’s full at noon can find room for you thirty minutes later, so swings and roundabouts.

Dave and Leo had both chosen noodle dishes, but more different noodle dishes would be hard to imagine, despite having some of the same ingredients. Dave ordered Kopitiam’s special ho fun with not one, not two, but all of the following: prawns, squid, fish cake and pork. All that and what the menu described as an “egg gravy” on top. Something was surely lost in translation, because the words “egg” and “gravy”, next to one another, don’t scream take my money to me. But Dave seemed to enjoy it.

“The texture is a little… well… it’s kind of like mucus.”

“You can’t say that! I can’t put that in the review.” I said, fully intending to put it in the review.

“Well, it’s tasty mucus.”

“This is the thing, though, with some cuisines I think” I pontificated. “It’s just about us not having frames of reference. So we are generally a bit put off by gelatinous food, but I guess that’s because we associate that texture with sweet stuff. And nobody eats things in savoury jelly any more, apart from pork pies. It’s a tricky one with this kind of food – and it will make this review difficult to write. If you rave on it’s cultural appropriation, if you sound like you don’t understand it you just come across like Nigel Farage.”

“Anyway, I’m not sure if that is a fishcake. It has the same texture as a scallop. Anybody who promises a fishcake and gives you a scallop is okay in my book.”

If Dave’s dish was our one Cantonese foray into the menu, Leo had chosen a Malaysian classic. Hokkien mee was wheat noodles rather than rice noodles, cooked in a darker, stickier sauce with the same mix of surf and turf and with, allegedly, the addition of fried pork lard, although that wasn’t visible to the naked eye. This looked more like it, and Leo polished it off without complaint. I didn’t try it, but I was struck that the noodles were broken and short, and I was grateful that I hadn’t ordered it because with my rudimentary chopstick skills I might well have ended up wearing half of it.

This is where, if I was a proper restaurant reviewer, I’d probably wank on about wok hei, whatever that is. But none of us are kidding ourselves that I am, so I won’t.

Originally I was going to have the beef rendang, because Dave had planned to order the Marmite chicken. But when he changed his mind it was up for grabs, and having enjoyed this dish so much at Lucky Lychee I wanted another bite of the cherry. And really, it was a similar experience to the lok bak – if I’d never had this dish before I probably would have loved it, but I knew how good it could be and so I knew that this fell short.

The texture was magnificent – we’d already established that Kopitiam could fry chicken like nobody’s business – so it wasn’t that. But the sauce was more honey than Marmite, more one note sweetness than harmonised salt and sugar. And there wasn’t a lot of it – what there was coated the chicken, and the chicken had all the crannies and crevices to make that happen, but that was your lot. What that meant was a few bites of reasonably enjoyable but dryish chicken, rendered drier by plain white rice, and not much else.

Partly my fault, perhaps, for ordering it from the lunch menu, and perhaps if I’d ordered a separate helping and a separate bowl of rice I wouldn’t have felt so diddled. But I don’t know, I still think at the end I would have had a whole expanse of naked rice, desperate to be covered with anything. I poured the rest of the sauce from the roti canai onto a little patch of rice and ate that. I left the rest.

“Are you okay mate? You haven’t eaten much of your rice” said Dave.

“There’s nothing to eat it with” I said, gesturing at my plate. Tell a lie: there was a little mound of undressed salad on the plate fighting it out with the rice to be the least appealing, like Robert Jenrick versus Kemi Badenoch. To my mind it was a dead heat.

Once we’d finished our mains I watched the seed I’d planted earlier playing out in Dave’s mind. He still wanted more chicken wings, but he also didn’t want to look like it was his idea.

“So I suppose we aren’t going to have more chicken wings now, are we.”

“We can have more chicken wings if you want them. Do you want more wings, Dave?”

“Well, I’ll have some if somebody else wants some.”

This is the dance you have to do with some people, and my dear old friend is one of them. Fortunately Leo is eighteen and slim and likes food and has no compunctions about it, so he said that yes, he would very much like more of the delicious chicken wings. So Dave flagged down our server, asked for some more and they arrived and we fell on them with no less gusto than the first portion. It was the perfect end to a thoroughly agreeable lunch.

I do have to say too that the service at Kopitiam is absolutely brilliant – I would say the majority of the customers in there were Chinese or Malaysian, but I didn’t feel like a sore thumb, or ever less than extremely well looked after. I guess once you’ve had the King’s stepson in there, you can easily manage plebs like me, one of my oldest friends and the apple of his eye. We settled up – our meal came to just over seventy-five pounds, not including service – and we headed off in the direction of the Rose And Crown on North Parade for a pint and a debrief.

Kopitiam, by the way, is on South Parade, which is further north than North Parade, one of those wonderful paradoxes you sometimes find, like Gary Oldman being younger than Gary Numan.

Whenever I travel a bit further for the blog, I’m aware that the stakes are higher and I try to pick places where I’m pretty certain I’ll have a great meal. “Hey, come and read about this place miles from Reading that isn’t really worth going to!” is not much of a sales pitch, and believe me, I know it. Generally I’ve had decent luck when I’ve travelled to Oxford on duty, and I’ve never reviewed a dud in the city. And I wish I could offer a more ringing endorsement of Kopitiam, but I don’t think I can.

Not that I’m saying Kopitiam is a dud. It’s not a bad restaurant, the service is brilliant and some of what I ate was excellent, but I don’t know that it’s worth travelling to Oxford to try unless you are really passionate about Malaysian food. And perhaps Malaysian food isn’t where they’re at their strongest: I saw items from the more Cantonese side of the menu turning up at other tables and the roast duck, skin all lacquered, invoked particular regret.

But also, if you do like Malaysian food and you’re taking a trip away from Reading I would say to take the train south-west, stop at Winchester and make your weekend by eating at Lucky Lychee. And if you’re in Oxford, better options exist. One of them, in the shape of Pompette, is literally the other side of the road. And you can book a table for whenever you like, which some people – and it turns out I’m one of them – seem rather to like. So there you have it. Kopitiam may not take reservations, but I’m afraid I had enough for the both of us.

Kopitiam – 7.0
Suffolk House, 19 South Parade, Summertown, Oxford, OX2 7HN
01865 454388

https://kopitiamoxford.co.uk

Restaurant review: Lucky Lychee, Winchester

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Even though Reading is my patch and always has been, I get asked for recommendations elsewhere fairly often. And my blog is more useful in that respect, I hope, than it used to be, with a number of reviews from beyond Berkshire and a series of European city guides you can consult to help with lunch, dinner or even coffee choices. I’m always encouraged when people tell me the city guides have come in handy: a friend told me a few weeks ago that she and her boyfriend were trying to pick somewhere for a holiday later in the year and she actually said “can’t we just go somewhere Edible Reading has been?” Few higher compliments exist.

Somewhat closer to home, I do like to have a few choice spots in my back pocket for the occasions when people ask for my help. If you want somewhere in London or Bristol, I can sort you out. Ditto Bath, Oxford, Exeter, even Swindon. But beyond that it gets sketchy. My last trips to Cardiff, Edinburgh and Glasgow were so long ago that I’d struggle to know what’s hot and what’s not these days; I could suggest somewhere, but it would be based on research rather than personal experience. And as for the likes of Manchester, Newcastle, Birmingham or Liverpool, forget it.

I’ve felt for a while, though, that Winchester was a gap in my repertoire that I ought to fix.

After all, it’s a lovely city, it’s a half hour train hop from Reading and it has plenty to do – excellent shopping, great coffee, good mooching opportunities, historic streets, pretty pubs and a gorgeous cathedral. For a long time my dining option of choice there was Michelin-starred pub the Black Rat, but the last time I went it really wasn’t great and when it subsequently lost its star I wasn’t hugely surprised. A couple of years ago it closed down, the owner citing spiralling energy bills.

And the last time I ate in Winchester it was at Rick Stein’s restaurant there, where I had a pleasant, well-mannered, expensive meal that felt a little like Hotel du Vin but ever so slightly better; Winchester has a Hotel du Vin of its own, which gives you some idea of the kind of place it is. But that was in January 2020, just before everything changed, and catching a whiffy, clapped-out Voyager train to Winchester last weekend I was struck that it had gone from being a city I knew moderately well to a passing acquaintance with whom I’d lost touch but was keen to reconnect.

I had a solo lunch reservation at Lucky Lychee, a restaurant which operated out of a Greene King pub called the Green Man, a fifteen minute walk from the train station and not far from the aforementioned Hotel du Vin. The brainchild of couple James Harris and Nicole Yeoh, it started out in street food and home delivery before getting a residency at another Winchester pub and then moving to the Green Man two years ago. Harris and Yeoh met in Malaysia, and their menu spans Malaysian, Thai and Chinese dishes.

I had discovered it through an Instagram post I stumbled on which was singing the praises of Lucky Lychee’s brunch roti wraps, a fusion of Malaysian and British food, and although the post was written by a person who used the word “sossidge”, there was something about the food that looked unmissable. Sometimes you can just look at a menu and suspect two things: first, that you’ll eat well, and secondly that you’ll find it impossible to decide exactly how you will eat well. Lucky Lychee’s menu was one of those, and I reached the front door of the pub with a heady blend of excitement and anticipation.

It helps that it’s such a handsome pub, all dark muted tones and wood panelling. The front room looked like a proper boozer, if a classy one, with high tables and sturdy leather-topped benches. Further through, near the fireplace, there were comfy booths and tastefully-upholstered sofas. But I was sat in what I imagine was the dining room, on a banquette, looking out on the whole thing, sunlight sneaking in through the windows. The table opposite me was occupied, with a couple making inroads into a tempting-looking lunch order, but otherwise it was pretty quiet. It was one o’clock on a Saturday not that far from payday. Had I made a mistake?

Not based on the looks of the menu, anyway. I actually think a weekend lunchtime might be the trickiest time to visit Lucky Lychee, because you have a selection of what are dubbed snacks but looked like starters and small plates, their lunch menu – a slimmed down version of their evening offering – and the brunch menu.

And that’s where it got really difficult. Because the lunch dishes – 8 hour rendang, tom yum king prawn fried rice and the like – looked extremely tempting. But it was the brunches that first drew me in and that selection was calling to me every bit as much. The idea of curry sausages and fennel cured smoked collar bacon, bound up in a flaky roti wrap with lime mayo and sweet chilli sauce sounded too good to miss. A great hangover cure too, and after a couple of bottles of red with my friend Jerry the night before it sounded just the ticket. What to do?

In the end I decided to postpone the decision by ordering snacks and seeing how I felt after that. But first I ordered a drink. Lucky Lychee boasts a fascinating range of low intervention wines, but postponing the hair of the dog for the time being I decided to try an iced Milo, allegedly a popular chocolate malt drink in Malaysia. It was nice enough, though the ice took some time to get the overall experience below lukewarm. Perhaps the glass was straight out of the dishwasher: either way, it may well have been thoroughly authentic but I couldn’t shake the feeling that I’d just spent four pounds fifty on a Nesquik.

That was the last – the only – misfire of the entire meal, and everything after that was so terrific as to render it insignificant. Chicken karaage was a decent portion for eight pounds fifty, and if it ever so slightly lacked crunch, the flavour that had permeated the chicken thighs, from soy, oyster sauce and rice wine, more than made up for it.

Mayo is a frequent accompaniment for karaage but rarely is it anywhere near as good as Lucky Lychee’s, which was positively awash with citrus. I kept going back and forward between this and my second small plate, trying to figure out which I liked the best.

I think though, on balance, the second small plate was ever better. Billed as Penang pork spring rolls it was really nothing of the kind. I mean, technically it was, but the ratio of dense, delicious meat to wafer-thin, greaseless pastry made it something closer to a sausage roll (or, if you’re three, “sossidge roll”) that was all sausage and no roll.

But that’s not all, because the meat was beautiful – shot through with tiny dice of carrot and, I think, spring onion. The menu said that it was marinated in a 10 spice powder and I could well believe it, because I’m not sure I’ve ever had anything like it.

I’m conscious that this is my third solo review in a row – and yes, I might be auditioning for some additional dining companions. It meant I ordered slightly more food than I strictly needed, to try and give the menu a fair run out. But I was as pleased as Punch not to have to share these spring rolls with any other fucker. They were mine and mine alone, and it was a beautiful moment.

My server, who was downright lovely throughout, gave me a little time after my starters were cleared to make my decision. As I mulled it over, I ordered a glass of white wine, a German riesling which turned out to have plenty of zip and pith, and a little honey. And the more I thought about it, the more I couldn’t decide: brunch or lunch? Buttery roti or something with rice?

It wasn’t easy but in the end, believe it or not, I was thinking of you lot. I decided you’d find an idea of Lucky Lychee’s dinner and lunch options more useful than a brunch, however good. So I forwent that roti stuffed with good things, and decided that if I walked away disappointed it was all your fault.

Gladly, nothing was your fault and my main course was one of the most enjoyable things I’ve eaten all year. Billed as honey Marmite chicken, it wasn’t a combination I’d ever considered or even heard of, although a Google suggests that it is indeed a dish eaten in China and Malaysia. But honestly, it was such a phenomenal combination. The chicken, thigh again, was in a crispy, craggy coating, studded with sesame seeds, and it had all the textural interest that the karaage had only just failed to bring to the table. But what made this dish, and made it one I’ve thought about many times since, was the sauce.

What a sauce! You might not like Marmite, you might not like honey – for what it’s worth I love both of them – but this sauce from Lucky Lychee managed to completely transcend either Marmite or honey, being infinitely more than the sum of those things. So you had the huge, salty savoury depth that came from the Marmite (and, apparently, a bit of oyster sauce) and the almost smoky sweetness from the honey, dovetailing and transforming in a way that was nothing less than magical.

Add in some just-cooked peppers and a sprinkling of peanuts and you had one of the most intensely moreish dishes I’ve eaten in well over a year. Put it this way – last month I ate at Kolae, one of the most hyped restaurants in London right now, and I had some of the most fascinating dishes I’ve sampled in a long old time. But nothing there matched the joyousness of this honey Marmite chicken.

I spooned, and then scraped, every last bit of sauce onto my fluffy jasmine rice, I cleaned my plate as best I could without abandoning decorum, and I wondered when I could eat this dish again. I love fried chicken, which ultimately this dish was, but I couldn’t remember trying anything quite like it.

By this point I was gratified to see that a few more people had taken tables in the pub. A young couple came in, him with a London Review Of Books canvas tote, her with one bearing the logo of Shakespeare & Co, the legendary bohemian Paris bookshop, and took the table near the window that had been occupied by others when I came in. I smiled at them – I’m not sure when I reached the age where I’m twinkly and avuncular, but sadly that point has come – and then I peeked nosily as they ordered from the brunch menu.

One of them had ordered a roti that was served absolutely stuffed with beef rendang, and as I saw it come to the table I realised there was nothing for it: I was just going to have to return, sooner rather than later. I realised my mistake hadn’t been to order lunch instead of brunch, it had been not to order brunch, find some excuse to loiter around Winchester for five hours and then go back for dinner. Never mind – I was already planning multiple return visits, with a pretty good idea of at least one person, miffed to have missed out on this trip, who would insist on trying it out.

Lucky Lychee does have a dessert menu, but on this occasion it didn’t have enough to tempt me. It’s mostly ice cream and affogato, with just two more interesting options – a banana spring roll and a piña colada crème brûlée. I had it mind to possibly grab an ice cream from Chococo, across town, so I decided to settle up and amble to Coffee Lab for a latte. My bill came to just under forty-eight pounds, not including tip. The most expensive thing I had was the honey Marmite chicken, which was under fifteen pounds. It would be hard, I think, to spend fifty pounds on lunch better than this.

As you’ve probably gathered, I truly adored Lucky Lychee. And weirdly, just as with Bombay Brothers last week, I came away feeling that I hadn’t seen the restaurant at its absolute best. With Bombay Brothers that was driven by a faint hope that surely it could be better than that, but with Lucky Lychee it was more an awareness that, phenomenal though my meal was, I suspected they were capable of even more.

I need to go back – to try the brunch menu, to work my way through the other snacks, the curry puffs and sesame prawn toasts, and to try the full gamut of their main courses at dinner time. Char siu with honey rhubarb glaze has my name on it, as does the Guinness chicken with lychees. And that rendang.

Who am I kidding? I want to try all of it – and rarely have I come away from a restaurant so simultaneously delighted with everything I had and frustrated that I wasn’t able to polish off more. The other thing I kept thinking was that this is a restaurant operating out of a Greene King pub. So I cast my mind over all of Reading’s Greene King pubs – the Roebuck, the Palmer Tavern, the Outlook and so on – and thought how sad it was that none of them had done anything this bold. Another one to chalk up under I wish Reading had something like this.

Don’t get me wrong, its closest equivalent is the Moderation, a fine pub. But Lucky Lychee was properly next level stuff. As so often, going away from Reading reminds you of the things Reading is still missing. Maybe we’ll get a top notch Malaysian restaurant at some point, but I’m not holding my breath. On the plus side, I now have somewhere to recommend whenever anybody asks me where’s good in Winchester. But this is the drawback: how am I ever going to review anywhere else in the city, if it means missing out on eating at Lucky Lychee?

Lucky Lychee – 9.0
The Green Man, 53 Southgate St, Winchester, SO23 9EH

https://www.luckylychee.uk

Wau, Newbury

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Wau closed in September 2019. I’ve left the review up for posterity.

One thing I’ve often pondered, writing this blog, is the holy trinity you always have to bear in mind when eating in – and assessing – a restaurant: the food, the service and the room. They all have the power to transform your experience. Take Dolce Vita, for example, which closed last year: some of the food was great, some of it (the pizzas and pasta, in particular) could be distinctly middling. But the service was so brilliant that I found I never really minded – a night there could feel like having friends cook for you, in a home from home, in the same way that some pubs (The Retreat, in my case) feel like having a second living room.

I’ve also thought for a long time that if the food is good enough, you can overlook blips in service. I’ve made no secret of my love of the food at Clay’s Hyderabadi Kitchen, but it can’t be denied that the service has never attained the same heights, with some churn in staff and some elementary mistakes here and there (no, I haven’t quite finished that mango beer, for example, so please stop trying to take it away). When they first opened, it was easy to pass it off as teething troubles or growing pains, but once a restaurant has been trading longer you expect a little more.

The room I’m not so fussed about – I agree with Marco Marchetti, the dapper and wise waiter at Pepe Sale (who’s now hung up his Larry Grayson-style spectacles and moved to Kent, I’m sorry to say) who once told me “we Italians don’t care about the room”. It’s nice to eat in a beautiful room. It’s nice to look at, say, Coppa Club and think “haven’t they done a great job fitting this out?” but when the service is comically bad and the food is indifferent (as it is at, say, Coppa Club) it really doesn’t redeem things. That might be my age, or the fact that I’m not in London: I’m sure some people are dazzled enough by eating somewhere Instagrammable like Sketch or Bob Bob Ricard, but it’s not for me.

But first and foremost, I’ve always believed that food is what matters. If the food is good enough, everything else is secondary. It stands to reason, doesn’t it? Except that this week the review is of Wau, the Malaysian street food restaurant a stone’s throw from Newbury station, and following my visit there I’m no longer so sure.

I found myself in Newbury one weekday evening with my regular dining companion (and close personal friend) Zoë, and after a couple of drinks in the Catherine Wheel I reckoned Wau was the obvious candidate for an evening meal. I’d been once last year and had a terrific meal, and when I put pictures on Instagram loads of people came out of the woodwork to tell me how great Wau was. You don’t see Malaysian food in many places round Reading (although the Moderation often does a few dishes, including nasi goreng), and it was less than five minutes from the station, and I happened to be in Newbury after all, so I decided to go back on duty and try it out again.

Speaking of the room, Wau’s is pretty unprepossessing. At the front are high tables with high stools, and further back are lower tables with still-ubiquitous Tollix chairs. The bar runs along one side of the room, with the kitchen at the back: not an open kitchen per se, but from some tables you get a pretty good view of what’s going on through the glass door. I think there are more tables round the corner, past the bar, although I wasn’t seated there.

The first problem happened when we arrived and the waiter tried to seat us at one of the precarious-looking high tables nearest the door, for two people. They didn’t feel at all like a relaxing place to eat. Could we sit at one of the bigger, lower tables further back, I asked? He looked at me like I’d asked for his date of birth and his mother’s maiden name, or enquired about whether he’d ever considered letting the love of Jesus into his life. It was a Tuesday evening at 8pm, and only one other table was occupied: they burnt a fair bit of goodwill umming and aahing before reluctantly letting us sit at a table for four.

The menu at Wau looks good, and has been recently updated. It’s divided into “Steamed and Grilled”, small plates costing between four and eight pounds, “Rice and Noodles” and “Curry”, which are larger plates costing between ten and thirteen pounds. I took this to be the dividing line between starters and mains – and the menu definitely encourages you to think that way but, as I was to find out, the reality is a bit more haphazard. But all that was yet to come at the point when we ordered three starters (a combination of greed and hunger), two mains and a couple of side dishes.

“The dishes will all come out when they come out, is that okay?” said the waiter.

It wasn’t, really, and I should have made more of this because it’s a real bugbear of mine and I’ve disliked it ever since Wagamama decided to make it a selling point. That approach feels like it’s geared entirely towards the convenience of the kitchen rather than the experience of customers. How presumptuous, I’ve always thought: we’ll make your food in the order we feel like it, and you’ll take what you’re given. Who’s paying who in this scenario? I often wonder.

“What does that mean exactly?”

“Oh. In this case you’ll probably get the squid first, then the pork belly, then the satay, then the beef rendang and nasi goreng and the other bits” he said. This didn’t really inspire confidence, because it was exactly the sequence in which we’d ordered everything, but never mind. What’s the worst that can happen? I reckoned.

Well, here’s what happened – and I’m sorry if this makes for a dull paragraph, but it’s taken from the time stamps of actual photos taken on my and Zoë’s phones: we sat down just after 8 o’clock. At 8.10 we poured our bottles of Tiger beer and placed our order. At 8.19 the salt and pepper squid (a starter) arrived, followed at 8.20 by my nasi goreng (a main). At 8.21 the pork belly starter and the sambal beans (a side dish) were brought to the table. At 8.24 Zoë’s beef rendang turned up, and at 8.25 our final starter, the satay lamb skewers, materialised. So within fifteen minutes of ordering they had brought almost everything we had ordered, all in the space of five minutes. Quite how it would have all fitted on the table for two they originally tried to fob us off with I have no idea, but it turns out that “the dishes will come out when they come out” actually means “they will all come out at once”.

I got that it was a slow night, but that didn’t seem like much of an excuse for the kitchen staff throwing the kitchen sink at trying to get us out quickly. And that’s when I realised – you can say it’s all about the food, but eating out isn’t about eating food, it’s about having a meal. A nicely paced meal, where you can take your time over what you eat and look forward to what you’ve ordered next without worrying about everything going cold before you get to enjoy it. It was utterly ridiculous, and all I could think was: why aren’t the serving staff a little embarrassed by all this?

I say that we had nearly everything we’d ordered. Zoe ordered roti canai to use to scoop up the rendang. That never arrived, so we asked for it again. It still didn’t arrive, so we asked for it again, again. It reached us ten minutes after the rest, too quick for your main courses to follow your starter but not quick enough for your side dish to follow literally everything else you had ordered. I’ve never known, and I’m choosing my words carefully, a clusterfuck like it.

The saddest thing of all is that the food was, almost without exception, gorgeous. The salt and pepper squid had so much freshness and texture, and was dusted with tons of good stuff. The pork belly – a really generous portion, precisely balanced between the crispy crunch of roasting and the tenderness of the meat under the skin – was a beautiful dish, perfected by dipping it in the sticky, savoury soy sauce. The satay lamb was my least favourite of the three, but even that was cooked beautifully and the satay sauce was as deep and rich as any I could remember. Would that I had got to enjoy those three dishes as a trio, without worrying about my nasi goreng going cold, but it was not to be.

Actually, the nasi goreng was my least favourite dish of the evening and, sorry to say, I don’t think it was anywhere near as good as the one served at the Moderation and the Queen’s Head. At those places you get chicken and prawn, but at Wau you have to choose and my choice, the chicken, was oddly bouncy in texture. Weird plating, too – the sunny side up egg should be on top so it can ooze its yolk into the rice but this – probably a little overcooked – was stuck on the side like an afterthought. I left some of this dish, although that was probably more because it didn’t stay hot enough for long enough, not with so many other things to try. I left the prawn crackers, although I’m told they were a reasonable substitute for the roti which nearly never came.

One of the nicest things we ate was the side dish I’d ordered to come with the nasi goreng (although, in reality, everything came with the nasi goreng). Sambal green beans had a beautiful amount of crunch, having been no more than blanched, and coated in Malaysian shrimp paste, perfectly brick-red and savoury, with just enough heat and lots of complexity: I could easily have eaten more than one plate of these.

I was familiar with the beef rendang, Zoë’s choice, from a previous visit but really it was every bit as delicious as I remembered – so much so that I regretted my nasi goreng from the first forkful to the last. The sauce was glossy and sweet with coconut, but with more than enough edge to save it from being even remotely saccharine, but more importantly the beef had been properly slow-cooked so every piece surrendered into strands. It would almost be worth going to Wau and just ordering this dish, which come to think of it might also be the only way to ensure that you get to eat it at a time of your choosing.

I also really liked the roti, when it eventually came out – lovely and buttery, and just right to wrap around that beef, even if it made for a slightly messy experience. It came with a little dish of dipping sauce which was pleasant enough, but not really needed under the circumstances.

I’ve already talked about the service, but of course the real test of service is how they handle it when matters are less than perfect. So when we were asked how our food had been, we said that it was very nice but that really, we hadn’t wanted it to all come out at once and that if we’d known we would have insisted that it didn’t, or perhaps ordered our starters first and then our mains. It’s fair to say that this rather fell on stony ground. That’s just how people eat in Malaysia, the chap told us – all the food comes at once and everyone pitches in, sharing everything.

It’s fair to say that I wasn’t entirely convinced by this argument, and I said so: I could possibly understand it with a big group of people, but there were two of us. Why did they divide their menu into starters and mains, I asked? He pointed out, again in a manner best described as unapologetic, that they weren’t called starters and mains (which, having looked at the menu, is true: but if you have the small dishes at the start and the bigger items partway through you definitely give that impression). Then, finally, came the non-apology so popular in the post-truth times we live in.

“I’m sorry if you feel that way”, he said. Well, that makes everything better then.

After that a lady came over who I think was the owner or manager, and we had exactly the same conversation, only more pleasantly. She promised that they weren’t trying to rush us or move us along or turn the table. That’s all very well, we said, but if so why bring all the food in the space of five minutes? We were then told again about how people all share food in Malaysia, which was doubtless true but, in Newbury, wouldn’t it make sense to put something on the menu explaining the concept or at least get the waiting staff to clearly explain how it worked? Normally they did, she said, which didn’t explain why the chap who took our order – the same man who had served me on a previous visit – had failed to do so either time (on a previous visit we got our starters, then we had our mains, and everything went as you might expect).

The thing we were at pains to point out, again and again, was that the food had been so good, but the way it had been brought out robbed us of the opportunity to properly enjoy it, and ourselves for that matter. But by this point I was beginning to feel like one of those TripAdvisor reviews in human form, and found myself eagerly wanting the conversation, and the experience, to end. The manageress was also sorry we felt that way, and agreed to take something off the bill. That turned out to be ten per cent, which to me didn’t quite feel like enough, and our meal – with that discount – came to fifty-four pounds, not including tip. That was for three small dishes, two big dishes, two sides and two beers – and we still tipped ten per cent, though with hindsight I don’t really know why.

You could indisputably eat well at Wau – if you happened to be in Newbury, close to the station, and preferably in a hurry. Even then, I would advise you to be unambiguous about what you want to eat and the order in which you want to eat it. But those are a lot of caveats, a lot of hoops to jump through, and I could hardly blame you if you read all this and thought thanks but no thanks.

The real shame of it is that so much of the food was terrific, but the overall experience left a nasty taste that no amount of skill in the kitchen can cancel out; food might be the most important element of any visit to a restaurant, but it turns out that it’s service that transforms it from mere food into a meal. All that makes this almost impossible to rate but, to give you an idea, I reckon the experience at Wau must have easily cost it a mark. I hope they iron those problems out, but I doubt I’ll be back to find out. If you decide it sounds like your sort of thing, you’ll have to let me know.

Wau – 6.8
49 Cheap Street, Newbury, RG14 5BX
01635 528877

http://www.waumalaysian.co.uk/