It’s incredibly frustrating, in this day and age, when a restaurant doesn’t have a website. How are you supposed to figure out what you’re going to have, when you can’t spend at least fifteen minutes poring over the menu in advance of your visit?

And how can you tell when it opens and closes? You can try Google for that, of course, but different restaurants report trading hours in different ways – does closing at 8pm mean it closes at 8 sharpish, or that the kitchen closes at 8? If only they had a website you could use.

This all occurred to me last week, when I was going to visit Zi Tore, the newish Italian place on Smelly Alley that has taken the place of the much lamented Grumpy Goat. It has no website, although you can track down the menu if you try hard enough; an Italian friend of mine has been a few times and really rated it, not only encouraging me to visit but telling me all the best things to pick on the menu.

Google says that it shuts at 8, but I had done my homework here, too. Another friend was looking for somewhere quick and easy to eat in Reading a few weeks ago, prior to attending the quiz at the Allied and I suggested Zi Tore. “I wish they’d publish their opening hours somewhere” she said, not unreasonably. “I’d like to be assured that there will be delicious things available at 7pm.” But then she went (“it was completely dead”) and enjoyed the food. So that settled it.

I arranged to go there with Jo – who made a cameo appearance in this blog five years ago – safe in the knowledge that it would all work out fine. We met at Siren RG1 for a couple of beers, which was enough to persuade me that they hadn’t fixed their pricing issues from last year, and mooched over to Smelly Alley ready for pizza and pasta. Jo’s family is Italian, too, and she has strong opinions about Italian food: I was looking forward to seeing what happened when those views came into contact with Zi Tore’s dishes.

Can you see where this is going? Of course you can. We arrived at 7pm to find Zi Tore dead and the guy behind the counter turned us away. “Sorry, we close at half seven”, he said. Exasperating, really: if you want to just be a lunch place, be a lunch place. If you want to be a lunch place that does coffee in the afternoon, fair enough. But why offer pizza and pasta and close at half-seven, a full half hour earlier than you claim you do? I took a menu, so now I know exactly what they serve. It didn’t have opening times on it, either.

So there Jo and I were, standing on Union Street a couple of beers to the good like a prize pair of limoncellos. Where to go? Fortunately, I keep my to do list online, so it only took a few minutes poring over it on Union Street before we were on our way.

Some places, like Dolphin’s Caribbean Cuisine, haven’t been open long enough yet. Others, although high on my list of priorities, were already scheduled in with other people. And some, the likes of Jollibee or Biryani Mama, may even close before an evening comes where I consider dinner there and think “oh, go on then”. But there was a place I’d been keeping in my back pocket to to do this year, and Zi Tore downing tools gave me the perfect opportunity: back to House Of Flavours it was.

“I’m really sorry we won’t get to try somewhere Italian” I said to Jo as we headed down Broad Street.

“It’s okay” said Jo with a wolfish grin. “I am rather partial to a curry.”

It might be hard to remember a time before House Of Flavours occupied that spot, and many of you might not have a history with Reading that stretches back that far. It opened nearly 12 years ago, a month before I started this blog, and in that time it has played an enormous role in reshaping how people in Reading see Indian food.

A couple of years ago I named it as one of the most influential restaurants of the previous decade and when I visited it on duty, before my blog was even six months old, it got the highest rating I’d handed out in the town centre. I say this all the time, but I don’t know if Reading would have had the appetite for Clay’s without House Of Flavours paving the way. It was very much John The Baptist (or Deep Thought) in that respect.

And actually this is how far back my memories go with Reading – I remember that before it was House Of Flavours it was the original home of the short-lived Turkish restaurant Mangal, and a pub, and a tapas place. Mangal made me want to go to Istanbul on holiday, which I did, and the tapas place made me want to go to Granada, and I did that too. But that was mostly because I knew eating in those cities would be better than eating in those two restaurants.

Before that it was the original branch of bar slash restaurant Ha Ha – we’re talking over twenty years ago, now – and the only place Ha Ha ever made me want to go was back to Ha Ha. I loved that place: House Of Flavours’ loos still bear the original Ha Ha signage, which makes a toilet visit surprisingly nostalgic.

Anyway, visually I’m not sure House Of Flavours has changed much in that dozen years. It still has that handsome front room looking out onto the Kings Road, with the luxe comfy chairs and glass-topped tables with inlays of spices underneath. Further back it got a little more cavernous, but I’ve never knowingly sat in that part of the restaurant.

There was also a hat-wearing chap standing in front of the bar, playing guitar and singing: I have to say that I clocked him and immediately thought we should be eating somewhere else, but as it turned out he wasn’t loud at all. Besides, he couldn’t compete with the hubbub: House Of Flavours was reasonably busy on a Tuesday night, especially in that front room.

House Of Flavours’ menu has changed subtly in the last twelve years. Much of what I ordered on my visit then you can’t order there now, but it doesn’t feel like a drastically different place. The main concession to changing tastes is an Indo-Chinese section which I’m pretty sure was not there back in the day, no doubt influenced by the growing interest in those dishes, itself caused by spots like Bhel Puri House doing them well. So House Of Flavours’ owners have done a canny job, tweaking here and there without overhauling anything.

A reasonable proportion of the dishes, in the section marked “Old Favourites”, are the kind of things you find all over the place, in Reading and beyond. But the section of signature dishes has a range of less generic options, and it’s also worth saying that House Of Flavours’ range of vegetarian dishes, on paper at least, is very interesting and not stuff from elsewhere on the menu with the star of the show swapped out for something less formerly sentient.

Irrespective of all that, nearly all the curries are thirteen or fourteen pounds, unless you want to go crazy and order the “lobster tak-a-tak” – in which case, and I mean this with kindness, you might have a tiny bit more money than sense.

Now, before I tell you about what we ate I just need to get something off my chest, something that has always made me feel a little like I’m not a complete, well-rounded person. Here goes: in Indian restaurants you always seem to have a choice between Cobra and Kingfisher, and it’s always presented as some kind of defining choice, like the Beatles or the Stones, BBC or ITV, Coke or Pepsi, VHS or Betamax. As if there’s some kind of correct and incorrect answer, as if your decision Says Something About You.

Am I missing something? Because to me they seem to taste almost exactly the same and yet, depending on who I’m with, I sometimes feel like I get the silent nod of approval or eye roll of judgment when I pick – always at random – the right or wrong one. You can all chip in, in the comments, and tell me that I’m wrong and one is clearly better than the other. On this occasion, I ordered Kingfisher and it tasted exactly like Cobra. Or was it the other way round?

(I just checked the receipt: it was Kingfisher.)

We started with poppadoms, because many people think that a conventional Indian meal has to begin that way. House Of Flavours is upmarket enough to charge you £1.99 per person and give you one each, neatly split in half, rather than asking you how many you want and letting you load up before the main event. They were perfectly nice, although they used to do seeded ones and those seem to have fallen by the wayside. They came with a very good mango chutney with a little out and out sweetness sacrificed for complexity, a decent raita, spiced onions and a deeply anonymous pale pink sauce neither of us warmed to.

“It looks a bit like Thousand Island dressing” I said. Jo spooned some on to a shard of poppadom.

“I think Thousand Island dressing would be better. At least it would taste of something.”

“I miss lime pickle, myself.”

By this point the soloist in front of the bar had moved on to a couple of songs we recognised. Sit Down by James was one, although in this context it sounded as if he was trying to talk people out of leaving. Shortly after he launched into Half The World Away, the classic Oasis B-side. I thought it was possibly his best performance of the evening. Jo, on the other hand, sings in a band, and I could tell she was judging his efforts the way I was going to judge the food: not unkindly, but critically all the same.

We’d picked a selection of things to share, and they were easily the best stuff we ate all evening. House Of Flavours offers three different sharing platters but Jo isn’t a massive fan of fish and neither of us wanted a vegetarian selection, however sumptuous, so the “Gourmet Sharer Platter” it was. The name might be a tad naff, but what was brought to our table absolutely was not.

It was a real treat: two different types of chicken, one chicken tikka and a more beige number which had clearly seen plenty of yoghurt, paneer and a couple of seekh kebabs, all cooked in the tandoor. This took me back to my first trip to House Of Flavours all that time ago, eating their lahsooni chicken tikka and being in raptures. That dish is no longer on the menu, although there’s a big tandoor section if you’re in a larger group and want to mix and match. But for two people, this was both excellent and plentiful, especially for twenty-two quid.

I can safely say that I struggled to pick a favourite. The paneer was better than it looked, with just enough caramelisation despite its slight paleness. But a lot of this subverted appearances: you’d expect the golden chicken tikka to be better than its albino sibling, but in terms of taste the latter won out.

Because I never shy from difficult decisions, I’d say on balance the lamb seekh kebab was the outright winner. Coarse, earthy, superbly cooked and, uniquely among these four, seething with heat. Perfect with the mint and coriander chutney, which for me won out over a slightly more muted dip with yoghurt. If more of the options had been fiery, that might have come into its own.

We had onion bhajis with that, rather than as a side with our mains. That was partly to introduce some variety and mostly because I think there’s little sadder than taking delivery of an onion bhaji when you’re too full to do it justice. I rather liked it – light and airy rather than dense, but managing not to fall apart. It’s a fine balance, and so often bhajis can either be stodge or a fast disintegrating fritter. House Of Flavours got this right. I also enjoyed the sauce that came with it, which I suspect had some date and tamarind in it. You know, the way HP Sauce does.

At this point, I felt like all was right with the world and the travails of Zi Tore’s optional opening hours were less an unpleasant memory, more a convenient way to begin a review of somewhere else. Jo and I were having a good natter about all sorts, and the evening was passing very easily. Jo used to work with my wife, so we always find plenty of different perspectives to share, and we’ve both lived in Reading for a very long time, so know enough of the same crowd to be able to gossip about literally dozens of people.

By this point the man on the guitar had reverted to some kind of consonant-free wailing, like Chris Martin with his knob stuck in a zipper. It was the kind of thing the late, great Robin Williams used to refer to as one giant vowel movement. But, in the immortal words of W.H. Auden, it was not an important failure: everyone was having a lovely time, and we were too. I was already thinking at the point, at some stage in the future, when I sat down at my MacBook and wrote a heart-warming piece about how House Of Flavours has still got it.

Then the mains turned up.

And they weren’t terrible, but they weren’t great either. I had chosen the pistachio chicken because it’s been a signature of the restaurant for a very long time and I think I’ve maybe only ever had it once. The menu says that although it was a mild curry it was full of “bold flavours and textures” and I, usually suspicious of a korma or a pasanda, thought this was something I’d like to experience.

In terms of bold textures it was a couple of pieces of chicken, a supreme at a guess, bone still on, that had been cooked in a tandoor, cut into chunks and then submerged almost totally in the sauce. It looked, I’m sorry to say, like a cat had hurled on it. I don’t know how you made a dish like this more visually appealing – that may be impossible but if it is, I think you at least need to find a way of making it less unappealing.

I could have forgiven that if the taste had lived up to the billing. Heat isn’t everything, and a mild curry is not a crime, but in the absence of heat I wanted some complexity, and that wasn’t here at all.

One of the ways in which House Of Flavours blazed a trail in Reading is that F word, Flavours. Everyone uses it now, so you have Madras Flavours, Bakery House rebranded as Lebanese Flavours, Palmyra rebranded as Afghan Flavours. More flavours than a Peter Andre megamix. But House Of Flavours did it first, a long time ago, so they of all people ought to know that if you have that word in your name your dishes have to taste of something.

The only thing worse than no flavour is the wrong flavour, and that was Jo’s lot when it came to main courses. Initially she had wanted her reference dish, lamb tikka masala, but the menu only had chicken tikka masala on it.

“That’s okay, I’ll just ask them to make it with lamb” said Jo, unwisely, and so I launched into the Gospel According To Clay’s. I told Jo that Indian restaurants that just swapped out interchangeable meats with the same base sauce were the way Indian restaurants used to be years ago, but that it was better for each dish to have a distinct start and end point, its own mix of spices and, crucially, the meat and the gravy getting to know each other properly.

You can probably imagine how dull that was for Jo to sit through, and you can probably also imagine how smug I was when our server told Jo that, no, she could only have the tikka masala with chicken. So she did, and it was not a great advert for the meat and the gravy getting to know each other better.

The chicken was, in fact, really lovely. But the sauce was that kind of brick red, orange concoction that didn’t feel a million miles from a base sauce: irony of ironies. And it was sweet – strangely sweet, without any heat to pep it up. What had gone wrong? Jo had talked, on the way to the restaurant, about how she always over-ordered at Indian restaurants, got something to take home for her (or even her beloved dog Diesel). This was a double whammy: she left some, but didn’t want a doggy bag.

The realisation I came to, in eating all this, was that House Of Flavours had lost its way a little, and it was instructive to look at what it was good at and compare it with its competitors. I always say about Clay’s – still the quintessential Indian restaurant in this or any town, even if I’m friends with the owners – that the gravy is king and the meat, really, is secondary.

You could fish every piece of tender, melting chicken thigh out of their ghee roast chicken and you would still eat the gravy with your fingers if necessary. I’ve had it at home before, as part of their delivery range, and licked the spoon I’ve used to dish it up.

But by contrast at House Of Flavours, protein is the master and the sauce is just something to have it bobbing in. That’s why the starters were so good, and why the meat in our mains could have been great, if it hadn’t come bathed in an afterthought. It’s such a pity, but they’d almost be better off calling themselves House Of Meats. It’s not a sexy name, but it might set expectations better.

This was also the problem with the sides. I rather liked the keema naan, although I’ve rarely met one I didn’t. And the rice, packed with mushrooms, was pleasant: it might have been more than that if the advertised cumin had come out to play.

But these accompaniments, however great they are, come to life in the presence of a great sauce. And where there isn’t a great sauce, they are just things you mix with or dip in an underwhelming sauce, aware that they are somehow diminished by the act. I so wanted to love my meal. I so wanted not to write paragraphs like this.

There wasn’t much more to say, and dessert was out of the question. So we finished our beers, still none the wiser about how they differed from Cobra, and got the bill from our excellent server. Dinner for two came to eighty-four pounds, not including tip: when I went there in 2013 we had one more course and a couple more drinks and paid twenty pounds less. So it goes. I still don’t think House Of Flavours is terrible value, if you pick the right things. But that’s assuming there are right things to pick.

There must be: our starters were great, and the place was packed. The thing is, though, that long-lived restaurants exist in a continuum, and ever since I published my first review of House Of Flavours in 2013 people have been popping up at regular intervals to tell me I was wrong.

“Will not be going back” said one comment, the April after I reviewed it, back in 2014. “Hard to believe it is the same place” said another detractor, the following April. “The worst kind of inauthentic ‘Indian'”, he went on. “I will not be returning.” Saying I was wrong about House Of Flavours seemed to be an occasional thing. Two years later another commenter weighed in. “I’ve been there twice and been very disappointed both times” he said. Even back in 2019 people were still stopping by to tell me House Of Flavours had gone downhill. “Disappointed by my recent visit” said a fourth person.

Maybe this writeup is just the latest in a line of perspectives that House Of Flavours isn’t quite as amazing as it was in the heyday of 2013. I suspect it will have the same effect on the restaurant as all of those comments, though: House Of Flavours will not be dented by this review, and that’s probably as it should be. You may well have your own opinions about it already, and they mightn’t be altered by this either.

But I hope mine was not a representative experience, because I would very much like House Of Flavours to still be there in another twelve years, even if I have stopped reviewing restaurants by then. I always thought it was much closer to Clay’s than it was the likes of Standard Tandoori or the Bina, but time stands still for nobody, and unless it’s careful it might converge with the likes of those restaurants. Even in the town centre it has competition: Chilis, always excellent, is snapping at its heels.

I don’t mind being wrong. It’s an occupational hazard of reviewing restaurants and putting your opinion out there every week. But I don’t often hope to be wrong quite as much as this. Besides, it has a website, it closes when it says it will and it doesn’t turn hungry people away at just gone 7pm. In that respect, if in no other, it can still teach some of our newcomers a thing or two.

House Of Flavours – 7.0
32-36 Kings Road, Reading, RG1 3AA
0118 9503500

https://house-of-flavours.co.uk

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